Random Stoic Quote
Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.Marcus Aurelius — Meditations (Book 4)
Nothing's made a mark on me as of late quite the way Stoicism has. The main reason I was interested in Stoicism was the idea that the Stoics knew how to quell feelings of rage. I have battled my bad temper my whole life, and the idea of learning to control it was appealing. The most notable result of reading Stoic philosophy and journaling twice a day has been a reduction in not instances of anger but a shortening in how long those feelings of anger last. Where I use to stew in the juices of anger for hours, I've been able to quickly stop myself, and ask "Why are you angry? Did that person you feel offended you intend to offend you? Or are they possibly having a bad day and slighted you by mistake? Or is it even possible that you just perceived it as a slight?"
Perception of Wrongdoings
There's an idea in Stoicism that you are not in control of anything but your own thoughts. Because you're in control of your own mind though, any offense you perceive is just that, your perception. If you do not feel like a victim, then you are not a victim.
We are confronted with episodes in our lives that make us feel like others have wronged us. Most of the time, we worry that we may have done something wrong first, that we need to fix the situation. In reality, we can change the thoughts, speech, and action of others as much as we can affect tomorrow's weather forecast. The only power we have here is in our perception of the perceived wrong. If we tell ourselves, "you don't control anything but you feel", we are more likely to avoid anger, resentment, and bitterness.